a Loonie Bin Vacation

as you may guess, this here's yet another excerpt from my voluminous collection of personally-created correspondence....see, i'm airing them out in the hopes that maybe somebody else will love them....like little bunnies that no-one wants, they is....(snif)
by the way man, i had this sneakin suspicion you'd say you'd worked at
the looney bin once upon a time....don't ask why, just a feelin. let's
see--card games. must have been on Night Shift Duty, eh? at least back
when i was a Guest that's how it worked....the night shift dudes always
liked me....although i technically wasn't supposed to leave that
locked-from-the-outside Cell, er, "Room" after Meds-Bed time, somehow i
always got Sprung by a sweet, sympathetic young man with too much time
on his hands and an aversion to Alone-ness on the ward in the early AM
hours....
after the Senior Supervising evening-shift types depart but before
the Professionally Trained morning shifters arrive in their Official
outfits, thick eye-makeup and heavy cloaks of Clinical
Disinterest/Disdain, to cliquishly gossip amongst themselves over
morning cigarettes before Punch In Time--those hours were the only ones
in which i could hope to be treated as a fellow human being by
Staffers....you know, there's a lull, when the Psychotic Ragers have
finally exhuausted their violent passions, the Lost Souls have quit
their Dramatic Suicidal Gestures and given in to the unremarkable sleep
of the living, and the Devious Sociopathic Types appear(as usual) to be
doin nothing Blatantly Untoward(except perhaps Happy Fantasies)....in
fact, in those Ethereal Dayless Morning hours, the only patients to be
found awake on the ward were Mika the Creepy Schizophrenic Kid and me,
Mika's Unwilling Beloved.....sigh....
you see, Mika was the craziest kid on the ward. he lived mentally in a
distant dimension,a parallel present-tense, if you will, where his
senses beheld otherworldly workings amongst alien beings ....thru some
cruel fluke of fate, however, Mika's Shell had become entangled
physically in our remote little alcove of the Time-Space Continuum and
he was forced into Passive Spectatorship upon the Plane of his psychic
existence....when unmedicated, Mika tried desperately to participate in
the life he could see happening all around him, to no avail... his words
and deeds played out for all us unconnected Earthlings to puzzle over as
he grew increasingly agitated, unable even to hear his own Human Form's
far-off intergalactic screams....and then he'd get tackled by several
burly men, shot in the ass with Thorazine, tied to the Board with
5-Points and locked in the twilight loneliness of his Room, for as much
time as it took for his soul to realize it needed to re-attempt Physical
Interface.....sometimes, Mika spent a week or two in there, medicated
into nonresistance, before his Mind even realized it had lost its' body
and came lookin for it. even when Soul found Body, there were technical
issues--seemed like there was some sort of Mutual Incompatibility
between the two, like a Microsoft computer and a Mac program, yknow?
the connection was tenuous at best and it just didn't really work like
it was supposed to....hence, even when Mika was "with us", he wasn't
really all there.....besides the fact that his every cell must have been
pickled with Tranquilizer-Dart Grade antipsychotics(you know, drooling,
tics, zombie affect, thorazine shuffle), he still had a tendency to
Drift Off into neighboring dimensions....these would seep into his
perception of reality on the Ward without actually forcing him to leave
entirely, however, and for the most part the heavy meds were an adequate
tether....at least that's the best i could figure, after intensive
observation(lotta time on my hands yknow)...
when i first arrived on the ward, Mika was on Hiatus, locked in his
room.
one day, he emerged, disheveled, dirty, and confused, and almost walked
straight into me as i attempted to stand in the main hallway....i was
polite, i guess, although not overly effusive since i was not in the
best of spirits at the time.....(to make me live my days locked on a
windowless concrete hallway-length ward in a building i cannot exit even
for a minute is tantamount to driving me insane, alright? i remember
spending the night fantasizing about blades of grass and dandelion
plants, sitting up close against the "outside" wall of my bedroom, eyes
runnin like a leaky faucet cause i knew the starry sky was right out on
the other side of that line of cinderblocks, above me though i could not
see, stuck as i was in my inconsequential flimsy trap of mankind's
making.....ah, that starry sky which unblinkingly shone above all i
loved in the world but could not reach, united us regardless of
circumstance....) but i ramble.....
hope my rambling is amusing, at least
monica