Chance chapter 0

monica goes to mattapan Current mood: curious
so there i was in this dude's nice-ass car, having just finished both the pay and service elements of our agreed-upon transaction....but this dude didn't act quite right--generally dudes get real quiet and ready to say Bye Bye to the person in their passenger seat when the deed's over and done with like it was....hell, i was gettin antsy--i wanted to take my newly-acquired cash and buy me a bag of rocks before the dealers went home for the mornin/afternoon.....and suddenly here i was stuck in the car with some weirdo who cannot STOP chattin me up?? fuck that shit! he didn't even wanna put the key back in the ignition, that's how intent he'd become on "getting to know his friendly neighborhood hooker". i was suspicious, but kept my poker face--smile, nod, gently urge we get our asses in gear so i can escape this loser and his thousand questions game.....the questions themselves were not exactly ROUTINE, but in that line of work, folks will ask you all manner of weird things out of curiosity or less-savory psychological motivations.....just to keep em on their toes, it was my strict policy to give only the vaguest of answers.....let em all wonder, yknow?
finally, we were driving out of the parking-lot. unfortunately, i was pretty certain we were not driving to my intended destination. hell, by now i knew i wouldn't be able to buy shit, anyhow. personal experience had taught me that resistance in such ambiguous situations generally leads to a serious risk of otherwise-avoidable bodily harm....why turn an extended drive with some tweaker into the last hours of your life just cause you'd rather be someplace else, yknow? i may be on the tall side, but i'm no fool--i may keep my life but if a dude's hellbent on commiting bodily violation upon me, i'd rather convince him to wear a condom and know what he's up to than awake in a few hours with a severe head injury and no clue what had transpired. actually, i've always liked my brains, and those are the first thing to go, after a few good beatin's, yknow....i figured i'd probably about hit my limit in those regards......
so i was quiet and passive in this dudes passenger seat as we drove further and further into unfamilliar territory.....actually, i think we went in circles a bit.....he'd sneak a peek now and again, sidelong.....


ah yes so after several days of writerly absentee-ism, i've returned to close the deal.
here's my Lame Ass Pimpin story.
i hopped into this dude's car--front passenger seat.....door locks, and the dude seems to be a bit too glad to be just driving off with me....doesn't answer when i try discussing standard business....."uh, what do you wanna do? you got someplace in mind to do it that we're drivin to?" that sorta thing.....just as i was about to force the lock and take Abandoned Prospect's Leap onto the pavement, the dude finally parked and quit playin deaf-mute....now, dear readers, it may strike you as rather lame, this guy subjecting me to that kinda rudeness and me just accepting it without much question. perhaps it would befit the situation to impart some lessons-learned herein: firstly, as a prostitute, one sees the range of treatment, especially on the rides TO and FROM the "deed" itself....some dudes are perfect gentlemen, as if i was just the lady they were takin out for a real, old-fashioned date.....those guys are nice, but uncommon.....most guys are pretty quiet, a bit abrupt....then of course, you've got your various freaks and weirdos who wanna discuss nasty shit for as long as you're in shouting distance....these folks can be entertaining, but generally they're strictly cheapskates lookin to get a free jerk-off on a workin grrl's time...the ones among that group with money always ended up findin me like a magnet, though....hah....being a sick, quick-minded, creative soul does have its upside in the wonderful world of Ass for Sale...course, when you're lookin for weird shit, i get to charge extra, but that don't explain why those boys kept on comin back.... hah
anyhow, the last subset of the John crowd are your classic psychological sadist/control freaks....way less fun than the pervie set, rest assured.....unfortunately, there's a lot of em out there.....these guys are an interesting bunch, from a distance....in some ways, you could classify most sex-trade customers as being into control/dominance in a basic sense, obviously....they pay to be Mister Right for a little while, and whatever they say, goes(for the girl lookin to stay in business).....if they say they think dogs are handsome, by golly, you nod your pretty little head and tell em "you are too baby". hah. they whip out the one-inch wanker and it's the best one you've seen all week....if that's what they wanna hear....sometimes it can be a bit tricky, pickin up on the cues....see, it goes back to basic psychology.....
okay, when a dude goes out and pays for sex, generally he's done it before and mostly it's not because the man is unable to find a chick willin to spread her legs free-of-charge. this leaves many folks wondering "why does he choose to pay?" well, if he's not a tightwad, perhaps it is because he can afford a prettier hooker than Frieda Freebie was, even in her prime....but even so.....what is it that makes some boys keep comin back?(btw: street-payin crowd: exclusively male. never even heard of a female "John" cruisin the block. though i did have a Sugar Mama, once...different story...)
the best answer that i could figure out after numerous encounters with the aforesaid group was that you, as the hooker, are essentially a "blank slate". everybody has their "ideal fantasy", of what they REALLY want in a sexual encounter, what "gets them off" if you will....now, being totally anonymous and presumeably a decent personality-study, the hooker plays "movie screen" to the john's slide-projection.....the funny thing is that some of these guys are not consciously aware of their own desires.....they probably don't even think much about why they would rather pay a hooker than do their wife.....you (if you feel some pride in your job as a hooker) must discern what kind of person gives this dude a hard-on the quickest.
some guys probably have several main fantasy scenarios they might play off of over time.....others are pretty well focused on one, which they build upon. generally, the "other" character in this play has a pretty well-defined character worked out for them already, too....some dudes want you to be their high school girlfriend, in all seriousness....this one guy would pay to stroll an athletic field in dorchester, hand in hand, across to the bleachers like he'd just played a football game and i'd cheered him on.....there we'd be in the dark, this guy at least fifty and overweight, still livin with his mama where he'd grown up, reliving the best years of his life.....i kinda felt for him, but not enough to give the man a discount, heh heh....
other guys have 'hooker-based' fantasies....only of course they still want you to be someone "other"....some dudes want you to tell em you're so sad to be out there sellin your ass on the streets, so ashamed, etc....then they can comfort you or save you or whatever it is they wanna do for Poor Little Polly Prostitute, hah.....very victorian, huh!
then there's the ones who want you to be super-submissive, like the stereotypical asian geisha.....you exist only to be seen by Him, speak only when spoken to, no eye-contact, that sorta thing....he is smart, capable, clever, sexy, whatever it is that he wants you to act like he is. you are nothing, and he treats you like it. he likes to see you confused or bewildered because that is a classic indication of powerlessness, which is what he wants more than anything else. he is short-tempered and disdainful, sometimes....mean, in other words. he says one thing, then insists he said another.....does a million little disrespectful things just to let you know your place. is not interested in your "personhood" other than to ask occaisional degrading questions, perhaps.....you are demure, whenever possible. unless he wants you to beg him not to hurt you or some shit. some of these dudes really get off on seein you look fearful.....these are the ones who probably tortured bunny-rabbits back when they were little punk-ass kids, still workin on their Mommy Complexes....i played em like a fine violin, but hated every moment i had to spend in their presence--it was all i could do sometimes to keep from removing certain vital anatomic structures...
oops, it looks like i got sidetracked again...YET again....oh well, guess that means i'm in control here.....that's right: i got the power, and you better LIKE TO WAIT, mama-san.....motherfucker!